The church (the people) are supposed to be One. A large family that is to help us grow closer to being like Jesus Christ.Why do we try to be so secretive among other people who are supposed to be in our family? As I child, if I was ill, I did not hide that fact from my parents. If Naomi gets hurt, she knows that she can go to Nathaniel to fix her boo-boo. If Samuel is crying because he can't roll over, Virginia can help him flip.
Many times, I have mentioned a struggle I or my family is having. I have had brothers and sisters in Christ give me some fine answers and stories of their personal issues related to my problem. I have had others who act as if everything in their life is perfect. I believe that God wants us to have the support of other Christians and part of that is learning from eachother. I am not saying that we need to complain, but that we need to help our brothers and sisters through their genuine struggles by sharing the experiences God has shown us personally.
Most women would feel that a male doctor was belittling her if he said he understood how contractions felt. Someone who has lost a child does not want to hear "I know what you are going through" from someone who has two healthy children.
If I ask how to fit Bible study into a day filled with homeschooling and baby care, it is not useful for a sister to say "Well, you need to get up earlier". It would be helpful to share "I was never able to fit it in either until I started to get up before my children". I don't think everyone struggles witht the same things that I do, but there are some people that portray themselves as never having any problem learning how to best fit all our obligations to God and family into a day.
If I say something negative about my husband, I need a sister to lovingly come up beside me and show me how to build him up, rather than tear him down. If I admit that my personal time with the Lord is failing, I need a sister to show me how she makes it work in her daily life. But do you think I would admit that to someone who never has any part of her life that she doesn't seem to have all straightend out.
Let's be real with each other and willing to share what God has shown us. We need to help each other take up our cross daily and live the way God wants us to. At least for me, I need examples from women who have figured out from real life how to make this work. I also want to be an example to other women.
2 comments:
As I was reading your blog, my mind wandered to where I have had relationships where I have sought out encouragement and where that has sometimes landed.
It has been in my experience, that sometimes we are searching for permission, advice, approval, acceptance, assurance and so on, when we share with others about our struggles. It can be as simple as a confirmation that what I do, for example, is exactly how you may handle a situation. As I reflect upon times that I have shared with another fellow believer and exposed my heart in need, it is the ones who direct me back to the Lord, are the ones that are dearest to my heart. The actual advice wasn't what I needed, rather the direction to where I needed to bring my focus. All of our hearts have been damaged by quick or not-so-well-thought-out responses. But my best answer comes when I have taken the focus off my situation and give praise to my Savior. That is what I believe He ultimately wants.
I think that if someone is operating as though their life doesn't have struggles, then I can rest that God will work in them a situation that will draw them closer to Him, if that is His plan for them. I need to redirect my focus and get real with myself.
Sometimes it can appear as though so-and-so has a perfect life. But they could be hurting inside. That could be a missed opportunity to encourage and love someone who doesn't show their struggles outwardly. I really appreciate reading your blog today! It reminds me so much of where I have been and to really take the work of encouragement seriously. Thank you. God Richly Bless your family! Laurie Lombardo
Loved this post...my mind goes to the women of yesteryear who sat together on the front porch shelling peas and all the while they were sharing life and growing mentally and spiritually.
Our husbands need us to have Godly women in our lives.
Connie
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