Raising children or adults?

What is my responsibility as a mom?  Do I want to have children leave my house at 18 years of age or is my goal to send out capable, well prepared 18 year old adults?  I am sure we have all met 18 years old children.  The boy who spends his entire paycheck the day he earns it (if he has job).  The girl who does not know how to make a meal (other than mac n' cheese from the blue box) or does not know what to do with a newborn baby.

Now, don't get me wrong, There is a time and place for kids to just be kids.  I do not let my babies cry it out.  I want them to know that I love them and know there needs.  I know many loving parents who do let their babies cry, but in our family, the babies are baby-ed.  Samuel is almost 2 and he is definitely still a baby.

At some point, however, we start to expect more of them. Even now, Samuel helps with chores.  He is not washing dishes or mowing the lawn.  He is throwing away his wet diapers, putting his clothes in the laundry basket, and helping put away his toys.  Sometimes, he runs to do his chores and other times he needs some extra encouragement.  I want him to understand that he has a part in this family and he can contribute like everyone else.

Naomi, at 4 years old, can wash dishes (not all of them but she can do some), sort laundry, put away toys, sweep,  make a bed, wipe the bathroom,  help cook meals, and more.

Virginia, age 8, does all of the above, plus do laundry, makes simple meals, helps with baby care (getting Samuel dressed, or wiping his face) and more.

At 15, Nathaniel can do even more.  He can make simple meals by himself, and more complicated ones with instructions from the other room.  If needed, Nathaniel can keep the house running.  There may not be much variety to the meals when he is in charge, and cleaning may not be up to my standards, but we would all still have clean clothes and food in our bellies thanks to his efforts. The house would at least be clean enough to not cause sickness, though there may be dust bunnies living in the corners.  In all honesty, sometimes when I am completely capable, there are still dust bunnies in the corner.  Not often enough that we name them, but still there sometimes.

Getting back to my original thought in this post,  I have to ask a few questions: When our kids leave our care, will they be viewed by society as adults or children?  Will they be able to hold their own in the work force?  Will they be able to maintain their first apartment or will they not feel comfortable inviting friends over?

Some of these skills I needed to teach myself as an adult.  I want my children to know these basics.  I want adults to leave my house to step out into the world. My next post will entail more things we expect our kids to know before they leave the house.  Chores are just one aspect of this.

What do chores look like at your house?