Ministry of mothers- Does the church look down upon this job?

Must see for everyone- not just mothers.
I just came across an amazing video about mothers. God has given us our children as a ministry.  Do we look at someone in foreign missions to be more highly esteemed than mothers?  As a church, do we make mothers feel that there ministry of staying home and raising their children is not as significant as someone else's ministry? Very thought provoking.

Days with Autism blog

We had this story passed on from a friend. We do not know the author personally, though we have hundreds of common friends. This blog chronicles Janice and her family as they learn more about autism, life, and the grace of God. This article really made us cheer, and we wanted to share it with the world.

Read the article here

Raising children or adults?

What is my responsibility as a mom?  Do I want to have children leave my house at 18 years of age or is my goal to send out capable, well prepared 18 year old adults?  I am sure we have all met 18 years old children.  The boy who spends his entire paycheck the day he earns it (if he has job).  The girl who does not know how to make a meal (other than mac n' cheese from the blue box) or does not know what to do with a newborn baby.

Now, don't get me wrong, There is a time and place for kids to just be kids.  I do not let my babies cry it out.  I want them to know that I love them and know there needs.  I know many loving parents who do let their babies cry, but in our family, the babies are baby-ed.  Samuel is almost 2 and he is definitely still a baby.

At some point, however, we start to expect more of them. Even now, Samuel helps with chores.  He is not washing dishes or mowing the lawn.  He is throwing away his wet diapers, putting his clothes in the laundry basket, and helping put away his toys.  Sometimes, he runs to do his chores and other times he needs some extra encouragement.  I want him to understand that he has a part in this family and he can contribute like everyone else.

Naomi, at 4 years old, can wash dishes (not all of them but she can do some), sort laundry, put away toys, sweep,  make a bed, wipe the bathroom,  help cook meals, and more.

Virginia, age 8, does all of the above, plus do laundry, makes simple meals, helps with baby care (getting Samuel dressed, or wiping his face) and more.

At 15, Nathaniel can do even more.  He can make simple meals by himself, and more complicated ones with instructions from the other room.  If needed, Nathaniel can keep the house running.  There may not be much variety to the meals when he is in charge, and cleaning may not be up to my standards, but we would all still have clean clothes and food in our bellies thanks to his efforts. The house would at least be clean enough to not cause sickness, though there may be dust bunnies living in the corners.  In all honesty, sometimes when I am completely capable, there are still dust bunnies in the corner.  Not often enough that we name them, but still there sometimes.

Getting back to my original thought in this post,  I have to ask a few questions: When our kids leave our care, will they be viewed by society as adults or children?  Will they be able to hold their own in the work force?  Will they be able to maintain their first apartment or will they not feel comfortable inviting friends over?

Some of these skills I needed to teach myself as an adult.  I want my children to know these basics.  I want adults to leave my house to step out into the world. My next post will entail more things we expect our kids to know before they leave the house.  Chores are just one aspect of this.

What do chores look like at your house?

What the Bible says about wives

I have decided to study what the word "wife" means in the Bible.  I had a really interesting thought about this yesterday when we were reading through 1st Timothy, but I am still trying to apply that in my head. I will share that later as I come to it, but I am just typing the word "wife" into the Bible search on e-sword.  I will share the verse and something that I think all wives can benefit from.  Please share comments about what God is teaching you from this study.

I do not want to teach any doctrine through this as I do not believe that is the woman's place.

Tit 2:3  Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 

Tit 2:4  and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 

Tit 2:5  to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. 

I do not see doctrine taught here, but I do see that husbands are included.

Here we go-

Gen 2:24  "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." 

 I love my mom and dad.  But God has told us that when we marry, we have a new family.  When I was younger, I used to go to my parents for advice, like which college to go to or which dress to buy.  Now as a married woman, I am to go to my husband for these things.   His opinion should matter more to me than others. 

Gen 2:25  "And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed."  

I know this verse is talking about how they were in the Garden of Eden.  However, it made me think about how I act around my husband.  I have now gone through four full pregnancies, and my body does not look like it did when Mark and I met. I should not be ashamed of my body in front of my husband. 

Gen 3:17  And to Adam he said, "Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, 'You shall not eat of it,' cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life;"

How many times have I said something that was not from God that my husband may even have considered?  If Eve had not eaten the fruit or offered it to Adam, things would be different.  Men listen to their wives opinions.  I do not want my opinion to be one that leads him away from the Lord's will.

Gen 4:1  "Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, 'I have gotten a man(child) with the help of the LORD.'"  

 How much more intimately can you know your husband than this.  God created this way to conceive children for us to have an intimate relationship with our spouse.  It is easy to have your husband come home and just talk about the skin deep things.  "How was work?" ,"Joe called. He wants you to go golfing on Saturday" ," The toilet won't flush",etc.  But then God has created a way to get past that superficial communication and to enjoy each others company

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It also says she "got a man(child)" with the help of the Lord.  With all the medical technology we have now, we tend to think that babies come when we want and don't come when we don't want.  But this verse tells us that God provides the child.  We help in the fact of having an intimate relationship with our husband (and I don't want to forgo that) but God creates the new life in our womb.  God can create a baby even when doctors have told a woman that she will never have children.  God can also create a life when birth control is being used. God has control in all of this, not man.  

What do you think about these verses?  Do you have anything to add?

Let's be real

The church (the people) are supposed to be One.  A large family that is to help us grow closer to being like Jesus Christ.Why do we try to be so secretive among other people who are supposed to be in our family?  As I child, if I was ill, I did not hide that fact from my parents.  If Naomi gets hurt, she knows that she can go to Nathaniel to fix her boo-boo.  If Samuel is crying because he can't roll over, Virginia can help him flip.

Many times, I have mentioned a struggle I or my family is having.  I have had brothers and sisters in Christ give me some fine answers and stories of their personal issues related to my problem.  I have had others who act as if everything in their life is perfect.  I believe that God wants us to have the support of other Christians and part of that is learning from eachother.  I am not saying that we need to complain, but that we need to help our brothers and sisters through their genuine struggles by sharing the experiences God has shown us personally.  

Most women would feel that a male doctor was belittling her if he said he understood how contractions felt.  Someone who has lost a child does not want to hear "I know what you are going through" from someone who has two healthy children.  

If I ask how to fit Bible study into a day filled with homeschooling and baby care, it is not useful for a sister to say "Well, you need to get up earlier".  It would be helpful to share "I was never able to fit it in either until I started to get up before my children".  I don't think everyone struggles witht the same things that I do, but there are some people that portray themselves as never having any problem learning how to best fit all our obligations to God and family into a day.

If I say something negative about my husband, I need a sister to lovingly come up beside me and show me how to build him up, rather than tear him down. If I admit that my personal time with the Lord is failing, I need a sister to show me how she makes it work in her daily life.  But do you think I would admit that to someone who never has any part of her life that she doesn't seem to have all straightend out.

Let's be real with each other and willing to share what God has shown us.  We need to help each other take up our cross daily and live the way God wants us to.  At least for me, I need examples from women who have figured out from real life how to make this work.  I also want to be an example to other women.